Many people believe that the only way to celebrate your wedding in England and Wales is either in a church or with a registrar. However, more and more people are realising the benefits of separating the ‘legal’ part from the ‘celebration’ part by having the legal formalities completed with a registrar in advance (which costs £56 for a “Statutory Ceremony” in 2025) and then working with an independent celebrant to create and conduct a bespoke, personalised ceremony on their big day. It’s a bit like signing the paperwork for a new house or flat one day and getting the keys and moving in later. It’s a very continental way of doing things, and it’s catching on here.
Photo courtesy of loveandbloom.co.uk
As an independent celebrant, I work with couples in the months and weeks before their big day to find out what they want and then deliver a symbolic ceremony to their brief. It can be as personal as you wish: telling stories about how you met, your first date, how you enjoy spending time together, who proposed to who, your hopes and dreams for the future, etc. However, not everyone wants all the storytelling which is why I also offer Short and Sweet ceremonies with just a few personal touches.
When working with an independent wedding celebrant, you choose the words you want to say to each other and you can include symbolic rituals such as a ribbon handtying, ring warming, sand ceremony or a completely new ritual that is meaningful to you. And you have 100% control over what is and isn’t said at your ceremony. You will see the ceremony script well in advance - you can edit it and ask for changes so that you know exactly what will happen on the day.
You have absolute freedom over your choice of readings and music (there are some limitations on your choices with a registrar or church ceremony). And you have absolute freedom over your choice of venue. Since it is a symbolic (rather than legally binding) ceremony, an independent celebrant can conduct your ceremony literally anywhere, as long as you have permission to be there (registrars are restricted to council-approved venues only). This can open up really cost-effective venue options that you may not have thought of. Even your back garden...
Photo courtesy of loveandbloom.co.uk
I guide and support couples through the development of their ceremony, dealing with any questions and worries that they may have. I can help with writing your promises to each other, make suggestions for readings and give you guidance and advice on what works and what might be tricky.
I also liaise with everyone who has a role to play in your ceremony. If the venue is new to me, I visit a few weeks beforehand to meet the team there so that I understand exactly how things will work on the day. I’m in touch with photographers, videographers and musicians beforehand too, so that I can give them an overview of how your ceremony will work – this helps them to understand if anything will be happening in the ceremony that might affect them. And I have a chat with everyone involved on the day too (e.g. ring bearer, anyone performing a reading, etc.).
I am also very sensitive to your and your guests’ needs. Registrars often don’t meet the couple until minutes before their ceremony starts and there is very little time for them to respond to a particular person’s needs (they might only find out about someone’s hearing or visual impairment when they meet them, for example). I always ask about any support needs and will work with the person (if appropriate) to ensure they can enjoy the ceremony fully. I recently created a series of A4 cards with variations of the words “I do” for a groom who was unable to speak and he used those, to hilarious effect, to fully participate throughout his ceremony.
Through all of this, you get to know me too. I’ll be waiting at the end of the aisle and hopefully that will help if you are feeling nervous. When getting out of the car when she arrived for her ceremony, one particularly nervous bride said “Thank goodness you’re here!” and immediately felt calmer. With a registrar-led ceremony, you get whoever happens to be on the rota that day...
Many people believe that an independent celebrant is ‘nice-to-have’, but unaffordable. It’s worth comparing the cost of the £56 statutory ceremony plus my fee with the cost of your registrar conducting a ceremony at your venue - you might be surprised at how they compare. I offer affordable Short and Sweet ceremonies which (in some parts of the country) are about half the cost of a registrar attending a venue.
When you decide to use an independent celebrant to create and deliver your ceremony, you choose the person you’re working with - someone who is the right ‘fit’ for you both, someone you feel comfortable with and someone you can trust to deliver a wonderful ceremony.
Finally, it’s important to emphasise that independent celebrants cannot currently provide legally binding marriage ceremonies in England and Wales, however with a few extra steps involving a legal ceremony with a registrar beforehand and some planning with your celebrant, you can have a truly unique, personal and memorable ceremony.
If you'd like to know more, drop me a note here and let's have a chat soon!